Best Insults and Comebacks

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

Life's a bitch. Oh no, wait. That's you.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

You're proof that evolution can go in reverse.

You've got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.

Can I have your picture? I want to scare my sister.

It ain't over till the fat lady sings. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, PornHub is down, Your mother's Facebook will do.

You're so fat, you've got more rolls than a bakery.

I'd slap you, but shit stains.

You need to go brush your teeth cause all you seem to do is talk shit!

You remind me of a penny; you're two-faced, worthless and CRUSTY AS HELL!

Your mom is like a squirrel, she always has two nuts in her mouth.

You must get tired of putting makeup on two faces every morning.

What goes around, comes around but I hope it hits you twice as fucking hard!

It's men like you that make women gay.

If you really want a joke, just look in the mirror.

If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes. Then why do you wear a bra??!

If I'm ugly, we must be twins.