Best Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • 21
    Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
    112
  • 22
    I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    105
  • 23
    I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    92
  • 24
    I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
    80
  • 25
    Your boyfriend hasn't gotten sick from eating your tuna every night?
    73
  • 26
    Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    72
  • 27
    You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
    70
  • 28
    I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
    65
  • 29
    Have you ever woken up from a sex dream and still felt horny? Cool, that's pretty much how your girlfriend feels after real sex.
    43
  • 30
    Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.
    41
  • 31
    I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    40
  • 32
    He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
    36
  • 33
    You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
    33
  • 34
    You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.
    -61
  • 35
    Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
    -106
  • 36
    I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
    -159
  • 37
    You loud Dick-Lips.
    -164