Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    929
  • I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
    75
  • Wanna get laid? Just crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
    331
  • They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.
    116
  • It's men like you that make women gay.
    282
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
    -135
  • If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
    246
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    87
  • Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.
    228
  • I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
    -139
  • I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
    263
  • They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
    240
  • You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.
    -52
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    40
  • You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
    64
  • Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
    -107
  • He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
    35