Relationship Insults

What's the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Garbage is dumped, And so are you.

Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.

They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

It's men like you that make women gay.

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.

I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.

They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.

You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.