Funny Insults

There are 190 funny insults and comebacks.

  • Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean.
    782
  • So a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
    82
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    81
  • She's stroked more wood than a Furniture Polisher.
    61
  • If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.
    139
  • You've got more dick in your personality than you have in your pants.
    452
  • I heard that you were a lady-killer. They take one look at you and die of shock.
    33
  • Your breath stinks. Did you eat your period?
    -142
  • Your mother was arrested for littering every time she dropped you off at school.
    328
  • Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.
    357
  • Somebody call animal control! There's a stray bitch running around!
    181
  • If you were any more of a dick, gay guys would be trying to suck your forehead.
    241
  • The best part of you ran down your fathers left leg.
    -63
  • I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and tomorrow I will be sober.
    -103
  • You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.
    224
  • Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on her iPod, she made it an iPad.
    42
  • Yo momma's so fat, she left the house with high heels and when she came back she was on flip flops.
    39
  • Your family tree must be a cactus because you're all pricks.
    324
  • Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.
    -228
  • You're so fat that when a person was having sex with you they rolled over twice, they were still on top of you!
    7