Fat Insults

You're so fat, when you went to space, there was no space left.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Your mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

Did you know they used to be called "Jumpolines" until your mom jumped on one?

You're so fat, when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the HOUSE.

Hey, you have something on your chin.... No, the 3rd one down.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

You're so fat, when you're single it's more like single and ready for a Pringle.

Behind every fat person there's someone beautiful. No seriously, you're in the way.

Yo momma's so fat, they had to fit speed bumps at the buffet.

Some people carry ketchup with them, some people carry maple syrup with them. But you, you carry the whole fucking McDonald's!

You wanna know how I know you're an autobot? You have to "roll out" of everywhere you go.

Person: Does this dress make me look fat? You: No, your fat makes you look fat.

Hey I forgot to tell you: the bakery called, they said they want their rolls back.

Yo momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific ocean.

Yo momma's so fat, she broke the stair way to heaven.

Yo momma's so fat that when she farted, she started global warming.

Yo momma's so fat, the NSA had to build a 2 billion dollar complex to store her weight information.

Yo momma's so fat, she needs a wrist watch on both hands because she's in two different time zones!

Yo momma's like the Eiffel Tower; she's so big that all of France has seen her and half of Europe has been up her!