Random Rude Insults

Insults and comebacks that are dirty or rude in nature, typically about sex. List of vulgar and rude insults and comebacks.

  • Who wears your CLEAN clothes?
  • Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.
  • You say that you are always bright and early. Well, OK!! We know you are early.
  • I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.
  • You started with nothing and still have most of it left.
  • I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
  • Sorry for calling you a whore all those times. I didn't realize a lack of love from your parents leaves a hole in your heart only dicks can fill.
  • I heard your mom got fired from her job at the sperm bank - the boss caught her drinking on the job.
  • Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.
  • Some day you will find yourself -- and wish that you hadn't.
  • Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
  • You're just like a vacuum cleaner, you suck things up but you don't spit out.
  • When I looked at your face I almost fainted but I just told myself don't worry its just a nightmare.
  • Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot.
  • A douche bag of your magnitude could cleanse a whale's vagina.
  • Your balls are so saggy you can teabag someone while doing a hand stand.
  • I would call you a cunt but you don't have the depth or the warmth.
  • You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.
  • Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.
  • You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.