Random Rude Insults

Insults and comebacks that are dirty or rude in nature, typically about sex. List of vulgar and rude insults and comebacks.

  • Your dick is like a landmine; small, hidden, and explodes on contact.
  • You're the reason God created the middle finger.
  • Who wears your GOOD clothes?
  • After hearing you talk, I now know that the dead do contact us.
  • Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.
  • He's got a Dick like a baby's arm holding an orange.
  • Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
  • Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
  • Your balls are so saggy you can teabag someone while doing a hand stand.
  • Your honor student swallows!
  • I would shove my foot up your ass, but you would enjoy it.
  • Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.
  • Your vagina's like a joint, it gets passed around and hit till you can't hit that shit anymore.
  • Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot.
  • The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.
  • You're just like a vacuum cleaner, you suck things up but you don't spit out.
  • Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
  • I heard that you were fired from the sperm factory for drinking on the job!
  • I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes!
  • I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.