Random Rude Insults

Insults and comebacks that are dirty or rude in nature, typically about sex. List of vulgar and rude insults and comebacks.

  • Your honor student swallows!
  • Your dick is like a landmine; small, hidden, and explodes on contact.
  • You grow on people -- like a wart!
  • I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.
  • I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
  • Your vagina's like a joint, it gets passed around and hit till you can't hit that shit anymore.
  • You're the dick you'll never have.
  • Take a vacation; go to Club Dead.
  • You're the reason God created the middle finger.
  • Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
  • All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.
  • I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
  • You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
  • Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.
  • Can I borrow your brain? I'm building an idiot.
  • After hearing you talk, I now know that the dead do contact us.
  • You should classify your dick as a choking hazard, because little children choke on small things
  • You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified.
  • You spent so much time trying to get rid of that halitosis that you had only to find out that you are not popular anyway.
  • If you want to get laid, crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!