Random Rude Insults

Insults and comebacks that are dirty or rude in nature, typically about sex. List of vulgar and rude insults and comebacks.

  • You urine soaked Swine.
  • You're like a vacuum cleaner; you suck and blow.
  • I heard your mom got fired from her job at the sperm bank - the boss caught her drinking on the job.
  • You're like a showbag; full of shit.
  • I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.
  • You are master in your own house -- the doghouse!
  • People clap when they see you -- their hands over their eyes or ears.
  • He's got a Dick like a turkey poking his head through a bush.
  • I hear you are an officer. Your rank is -- just plain rank!
  • Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot.
  • Why Are You Staring At My Bumper!? You Pervert!
  • I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
  • 300 million sperm cells, and you were the quickest?!
  • Your balls are so saggy you can teabag someone while doing a hand stand.
  • What's the difference between a joke and 10 black cocks? You can't take a joke.
  • Did you take a shit today? Well, put it back!
  • You're such a turd, when you sat in the sandbox, the cats tried to bury you.
  • Nice "cumback", did you scrape it from the back of your throat?
  • Sorry for calling you a whore all those times. I didn't realize a lack of love from your parents leaves a hole in your heart only dicks can fill.
  • You remind me of the ocean -- you make me sick.