Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    86
  • You're just mad because your hair is straighter than you are.
    325
  • He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
    35
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Garbage is dumped,
    And so are you.
    448
  • Have you ever woken up from a sex dream and still felt horny? Cool, that's pretty much how your girlfriend feels after real sex.
    39
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    146
  • Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
    1K
  • I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
    75
  • They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
    235
  • You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
    62
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    348
  • Your boyfriend hasn't gotten sick from eating your tuna every night?
    57
  • You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    273
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    109
  • I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
    -116
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    177
  • It's men like you that make women gay.
    279
  • I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
    258
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    64
  • Wanna get laid? Just crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
    326