Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    37
  • Have you ever woken up from a sex dream and still felt horny? Cool, that's pretty much how your girlfriend feels after real sex.
    73
  • If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
    256
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    231
  • You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    367
  • Wanna get laid? Just crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
    347
  • Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.
    241
  • Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
    1.2K
  • Your boyfriend hasn't gotten sick from eating your tuna every night?
    87
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    96
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
    -180
  • I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
    77
  • Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
    119
  • I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
    -185
  • You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
    154
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    162
  • I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    112
  • Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
    -118
  • It's men like you that make women gay.
    292
  • You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
    40