Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
    37
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    189
  • Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
    -108
  • They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
    249
  • Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.
    237
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    39
  • You're just mad because your hair is straighter than you are.
    350
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    366
  • If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
    252
  • Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.
    43
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    218
  • You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
    70
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
    -167
  • Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
    113
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    282
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    73
  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    956
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    144
  • Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    158
  • I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
    81