Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    929
  • Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
    1.1K
  • He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
    35
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    250
  • You're just mad because your hair is straighter than you are.
    335
  • I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
    -139
  • You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
    64
  • You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
    24
  • You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.
    -52
  • Have you ever woken up from a sex dream and still felt horny? Cool, that's pretty much how your girlfriend feels after real sex.
    39
  • They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
    240
  • You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    295
  • Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
    -107
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    87
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    161
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    40
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    195
  • They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.
    116
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Garbage is dumped,
    And so are you.
    484
  • It's men like you that make women gay.
    283