Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
    25
  • I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
    74
  • You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
    90
  • You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.
    -48
  • They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
    238
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    66
  • You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    286
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    242
  • Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
    111
  • Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    124
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
    -127
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    87
  • I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
    262
  • I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
    62
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    353
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    179
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    158
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Garbage is dumped,
    And so are you.
    471
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    41
  • I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    93