Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    143
  • They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
    249
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
    -163
  • Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
    -107
  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    952
  • Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    155
  • Wanna get laid? Just crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
    339
  • You're just mad because your hair is straighter than you are.
    348
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    192
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    189
  • Your boyfriend hasn't gotten sick from eating your tuna every night?
    76
  • Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
    1.1K
  • It's men like you that make women gay.
    287
  • I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    105
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    73
  • I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
    81
  • You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.
    -62
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    280
  • I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
    -162
  • You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
    70