Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
    1K
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    86
  • They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.
    109
  • If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
    243
  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    905
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
    62
  • You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
    58
  • You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.
    -48
  • I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    84
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    173
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    131
  • You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
    63
  • I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
    57
  • It's men like you that make women gay.
    273
  • Wanna get laid? Just crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
    319
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    181
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    332
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
    -91
  • You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
    21
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    101