Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
    980
  • Wanna get laid? Just crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
    348
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    197
  • You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
    70
  • They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.
    122
  • Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.
    241
  • I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
    79
  • You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
    40
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    387
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
    -185
  • Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
    -120
  • I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
    -193
  • Have you ever woken up from a sex dream and still felt horny? Cool, that's pretty much how your girlfriend feels after real sex.
    80
  • Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.
    47
  • You're just mad because your hair is straighter than you are.
    370
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    232
  • Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    173
  • Your boyfriend hasn't gotten sick from eating your tuna every night?
    86
  • They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
    259
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    37