Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    94
  • Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
    1.1K
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Garbage is dumped,
    And so are you.
    603
  • Wanna get laid? Just crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
    343
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    378
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    195
  • I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
    269
  • You're just mad because your hair is straighter than you are.
    368
  • I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
    -175
  • Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.
    239
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
    292
  • If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
    257
  • Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.
    47
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    206
  • I heard you were dating my ex -- how do I taste?
    111
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    159
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
    -179
  • I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
    74
  • You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
    69
  • You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    355