Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
    255
  • Your boyfriend hasn't gotten sick from eating your tuna every night?
    59
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    42
  • I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
    56
  • Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
    339
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
    86
  • Here lies my wife: here let her lie !
    -97
  • Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.
    175
  • If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
    244
  • You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
    71
  • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
    185
  • Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
    107
  • You're like the first slice of bread in the bag. Everyone touches you, but nobody really wants you.
    259
  • Ex: You'll never find someone like me.
    You: That's the point.
    117
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
    139
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
    -99
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
    107
  • Your wife said she liked seafood. So I gave her crabs.
    223
  • You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.
    -45
  • It's men like you that make women gay.
    275