Random Relationship Insults

Find the perfect insult for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. List of insults and comebacks for relationships.

  • Your boyfriend hasn't gotten sick from eating your tuna every night?
  • I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
  • You loud Dick-Lips.
  • You're just mad because your hair is straighter than you are.
  • You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.
  • They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
  • I'll hit you so hard your wife will fall!
  • Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
  • Don't feel too special, I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
  • You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
  • I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
  • You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
  • Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date!
  • Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.
  • Bitch please. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
  • Have you ever woken up from a sex dream and still felt horny? Cool, that's pretty much how your girlfriend feels after real sex.
  • I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
  • You're like a tornado; you moan like hell when you come and you take the house when you leave.
  • If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
  • He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.