Random Mean Insults

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up.

We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.

People like you are the reason they made the morning after pill.

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

Bitch, you're like summer; no class.

Exactly how many times did your mother get drunk and drop you on the head as a child again? Must have been a lot, I'll tell you that.

You'd make a lovely corpse!

I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.

Light travels faster than sound, this is why some people appear bright before they speak.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.

Do you need those glasses to see the size of your dick?

Some people are like slinkies; they're really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

When I think of all the people I respect the most, you're right there, serving them drinks.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

You're so pathetic, your imaginary friend hates you.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

Save the planet! Kill yourself!