Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • When I think of all the people I respect the most, you're right there, serving them drinks.
    77
  • I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
    1.1K
  • I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
    -18
  • People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
    6
  • Get off, you malignant growth!
    -328
  • I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
    1.1K
  • Lets play house.You be the door and I'll slam you.
    134
  • Hey! I know what sign you were born under! RED LIGHT DISTRICT!
    38
  • If I wanted a friend like you, I'd buy a dog.
    286
  • Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.
    -20
  • I heard that you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork.
    70
  • You need to go brush your teeth cause all you seem to do is talk shit!
    247
  • Nothing happens after you die? False. Some of us will be throwing a party.
    321
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]
    663
  • Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
    576
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be one happy guy.
    63
  • After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
    -210
  • Light travels faster than sound, this is why some people appear bright before they speak.
    84
  • You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.
    564
  • The only things you ever make are mistakes and cigarette ashes.
    -29