Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]
  • If I had change for a buck, I could have been your dad!
  • Do you need those glasses to see the size of your dick?
  • It's your life -- but I wish you'd let us have it.
  • I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.
  • All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?
  • God loves you. But no one else does!
  • The world is a depressing place, but only because you are in it.
  • No one should be punished for accident of birth but you look too much like a wreck not to be.
  • The biggest no-talent I ever worked with.
  • I'm no gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.
  • People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
  • Sometimes, I REALLY want to slap you, but that's animal abuse.
  • Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.
  • Well I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.
  • People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.
  • It's called FUCK OFF and it's located over there.
  • Nothing happens after you die? False. Some of us will be throwing a party.
  • Everyone hates Emos - even the Emos themselves!