Random Mean Insults

After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.

I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.

You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

Insult: Shut up.
Comeback: Make me
Comeback Insult: I don't make bullshit.

Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.

Well I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.

You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along. You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!

Now she's at rest and so am I

Oh I love what you've done with your hair! How did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that?

It's called FUCK OFF and it's located over there.

Save the planet! Kill yourself!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]

I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.

When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.

Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.

I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!

Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.

Man alive! But I wish you weren't.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I can't tell if you're on too many drugs or not enough.