Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • You're so ugly, made Hello Kitty say Good-Bye!
  • When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
  • I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!
  • I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
  • How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
  • You're like a cloud; once you fuck off, it's a beautiful day.
  • You'd make a lovely corpse!
  • The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?
  • You're so pathetic, your imaginary friend hates you.
  • I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly.
  • Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.
  • You need to go brush your teeth cause all you seem to do is talk shit!
  • You need to check yourself because what I'm seeing is not reality.
  • Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
  • I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.
  • No one should be punished for accident of birth but you look too much like a wreck not to be.
  • You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along. You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!
  • We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
  • It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A thousand to look it up and four thousand to hush it up.
  • Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, God made me pretty, What the hell happened to you?