Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.
    -40
  • When you were younger, did your parents have to tie a steak around your neck so the other dogs would play with you?
    161
  • I'll hit you so hard you'll have to unzip your pants to say hi!
    25
  • Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, God made me pretty, What the hell happened to you?
    621
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be one happy guy.
    60
  • Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.
    338
  • People like you are the reason they made the morning after pill.
    279
  • You remind me of a toothache I once had.
    7
  • Shut up, you failed result of an abortion.
    106
  • I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.
    564
  • I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
    939
  • Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.
    -16
  • Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
    22
  • The only things you ever make are mistakes and cigarette ashes.
    -29
  • Bitch, you're like summer; no class.
    302
  • The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?
    100
  • "When I think about you, I touch myself."
    Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.
    205
  • You're so ugly, made Hello Kitty say Good-Bye!
    68
  • I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
    -16
  • Your mother's got two cunts, and you're one of them.
    106