Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • You're the best at all you do -- and all you do is make people hate you.
  • I'm a pacifist alright - I'm about to pass a fist right across your face.
  • You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.
  • If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
  • I'll hit you so hard you'll have to take off your shoes to shit!
  • When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
  • Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.
  • I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!
  • The biggest no-talent I ever worked with.
  • I'm no gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.
  • I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.
  • Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
  • After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
  • Do you need those glasses to see the size of your dick?
  • Before I met you I thought God didn't make mistakes, but I guess I was wrong.
  • Exactly how many times did your mother get drunk and drop you on the head as a child again? Must have been a lot, I'll tell you that.
  • You always have your ear to the ground. So how's life in the gutter?
  • People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
  • How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
  • You're like a cloud; once you fuck off, it's a beautiful day.