Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • I'd slap you, but shit stains.
    362
  • I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
    952
  • I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!
    23
  • Lets play house.You be the door and I'll slam you.
    123
  • I'd slap you, but I don't want slut on my hands.
    183
  • I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.
    32
  • I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.
    547
  • I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.
    566
  • When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
    472
  • Shut up, you failed result of an abortion.
    109
  • I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I'd sit down and pull out the marshmallows.
    353
  • Your mum and dad hated you so much, your bath toys were an iron and a toaster.
    152
  • No one should be punished for accident of birth but you look too much like a wreck not to be.
    36
  • God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
    888
  • The world is a depressing place, but only because you are in it.
    163
  • Bitch, you're like summer; no class.
    308
  • If you ever wonder how mistakes are made you should go ask your mother. She knows all about it, she's got you to prove.
    197
  • I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!
    -8
  • You may be a beauiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside!
    159
  • We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.
    41