Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
    322
  • They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up.
    -16
  • We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.
    42
  • People like you are the reason they made the morning after pill.
    288
  • If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
    24
  • Bitch, you're like summer; no class.
    319
  • Exactly how many times did your mother get drunk and drop you on the head as a child again? Must have been a lot, I'll tell you that.
    -154
  • You'd make a lovely corpse!
    59
  • I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.
    33
  • When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
    476
  • Light travels faster than sound, this is why some people appear bright before they speak.
    71
  • I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.
    324
  • Do you need those glasses to see the size of your dick?
    507
  • Some people are like slinkies; they're really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
    391
  • When I think of all the people I respect the most, you're right there, serving them drinks.
    74
  • If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
    247
  • When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
    77
  • You're so pathetic, your imaginary friend hates you.
    214
  • If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
    235
  • Save the planet! Kill yourself!
    89