Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • You're the left-overs from the abortion bucket.
  • You make less sense than a white basketball player.
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be one happy guy.
  • They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up.
  • It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A thousand to look it up and four thousand to hush it up.
  • Bitch, you're like summer; no class.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]
  • I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.
  • I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.
  • Your mother's got two cunts, and you're one of them.
  • Your mother must have had to take a double dose of laxatives to bring you into the world.
  • If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
  • Well I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.
  • My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
  • I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!
  • People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.
  • God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
  • We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
  • You're so ugly, made Hello Kitty say Good-Bye!
  • I would have been your dad but your dog beat me to it.