Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • Do you need those glasses to see the size of your dick?
  • I'm a pacifist alright - I'm about to pass a fist right across your face.
  • Sometimes, I REALLY want to slap you, but that's animal abuse.
  • Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.
  • If you ever wonder how mistakes are made you should go ask your mother. She knows all about it, she's got you to prove.
  • I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.
  • People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.
  • Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.
  • You're so ugly, made Hello Kitty say Good-Bye!
  • After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
  • You only make 5 things; mistakes, ugly babies, cigarette ashes, bad sex and the shit coming out of your mouth.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
  • I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!
  • I can't tell if you're on too many drugs or not enough.
  • Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
  • I heard that you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork.
  • We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.
  • When God put teeth in your mouth, he ruined a perfectly good arsehole.
  • I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!
  • You remind me of a toothache I once had.