Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up.
  • Your mum and dad hated you so much, your bath toys were an iron and a toaster.
  • I'd slap you, but I don't want slut on my hands.
  • I know you special that's why I wave with one finger.
  • "When I think about you, I touch myself."
    Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.
  • People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.
  • Quick! Somebody kill it before it multiplies!
  • I'm not saying I hate you, but if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd probably be the one driving it.
  • I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!
  • Sometimes, I REALLY want to slap you, but that's animal abuse.
  • God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
  • Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.
  • How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
  • You may be a beauiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside!
  • If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.
  • I can't tell if you're on too many drugs or not enough.
  • There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
  • I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage.
  • Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, God made me pretty, What the hell happened to you?
  • If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!