Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • You remind me of a toothache I once had.
    7
  • When you were younger, did your parents have to tie a steak around your neck so the other dogs would play with you?
    173
  • The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?
    104
  • It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
    78
  • I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
    110
  • Person: My Parents are dead...
    Me: Yeah, I'd kill myself too if I had a kid like you.
    55
  • We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
    356
  • You're not my cup of tea, mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea.
    324
  • I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
    796
  • I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
    987
  • You only make 5 things; mistakes, ugly babies, cigarette ashes, bad sex and the shit coming out of your mouth.
    51
  • Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.
    -16
  • If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
    24
  • If I wanted a friend like you, I'd buy a dog.
    253
  • You're so pathetic, your imaginary friend hates you.
    214
  • I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.
    -4
  • People like you are the reason they made the morning after pill.
    286
  • If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
    247
  • I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.
    33
  • People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
    3