Random Mean Insults

Sometimes situations warrant extra mean insults and comebacks. Fire back at the haters with these mean insults and retorts.

  • After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
  • I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.
  • You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
  • Insult: Shut up.
    Comeback: Make me
    Comeback Insult: I don't make bullshit.
  • Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.
  • Well I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.
  • You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along. You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!
  • Now she's at rest and so am I
  • Oh I love what you've done with your hair! How did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that?
  • It's called FUCK OFF and it's located over there.
  • Save the planet! Kill yourself!
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]
  • I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.
  • When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
  • Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.
  • I'll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back!
  • Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.
  • Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
  • If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
  • I can't tell if you're on too many drugs or not enough.