Best Height Insults

Looking for height banter? Insults and comebacks for short and tall people.

  • 1
    You're so short you could bungee jump off a curb!
    430
  • 2
    You're so short that you would have to stand on a chair to reach puberty.
    362
  • 3
    You're so short, when it rains you are always the last one to know.
    330
  • 4
    I won't make fun of your height, I wouldn't stoop that low.
    328
  • 5
    You're so short if you pulled your socks up you'd be blind.
    235
  • 6
    You're so short, you'll need a ladder to reach manhood.
    195
  • 7
    You're so short that when you sit down on the sidewalk your feet dangle!
    132
  • 8
    You're so short, you can do back flips under your bed.
    128
  • 9
    You're so short you would drown by the time you realised it was raining.
    108
  • 10
    Short person: How's the weather up there?
    Tall person: How's the toxic fumes down there?
    79
  • 11
    You are the eigth, long, forgotten dwarf that no one knows about.
    25
  • 12
    You're so short you don't know if you have a headache or footache.
    -60
  • 13
    How's the weather down there?
    -90
  • 14
    You're so damn short when you got your driver's license your feet were in it.
    -128
  • 15
    Yo momma's so tall that when she did a backflip, she hit jesus in the nuts
    -228
  • 16
    You're so short, you couldn't go on any rides till you were 36 years old!
    -276
  • 17
    Why don't you pick on someone your own size, like the Eiffel Tower!
    -289