Random Height Insults

Looking for height banter? Insults and comebacks for short and tall people.

  • You're so short you don't know if you have a headache or footache.
    -65
  • Why don't you pick on someone your own size, like the Eiffel Tower!
    -431
  • You're so short, you can do back flips under your bed.
    171
  • You're so short, you couldn't go on any rides till you were 36 years old!
    -335
  • You are the eigth, long, forgotten dwarf that no one knows about.
    46
  • You're so short that when you sit down on the sidewalk your feet dangle!
    165
  • You're so short, when it rains you are always the last one to know.
    398
  • You're so short you could bungee jump off a curb!
    486
  • I won't make fun of your height, I wouldn't stoop that low.
    455
  • You're so damn short when you got your driver's license your feet were in it.
    -170
  • How's the weather down there?
    -133
  • Short person: How's the weather up there?
    Tall person: How's the toxic fumes down there?
    102
  • You're so short if you pulled your socks up you'd be blind.
    280
  • Yo momma's so tall that when she did a backflip, she hit jesus in the nuts
    -366
  • You're so short you would drown by the time you realised it was raining.
    142
  • You're so short, you'll need a ladder to reach manhood.
    228
  • You're so short that you would have to stand on a chair to reach puberty.
    496