Random Fat Insults

Ready for some funny overweight banter? Comeback with these humorous insults for fat people.

  • Every time he goes on a diet, the farmers revolt.
  • Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole.
  • You're so fat, when you step on a weighing scale, it says fail.
  • You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
  • You're so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall!
  • You're so fat, you literally poop logs.
  • Behind every fat person there's someone beautiful. No seriously, you're in the way.
  • You're so fat, when you're single it's more like single and ready for a Pringle.
  • You're so fat, if I dropped a bag of Maltesers near you it would be a real life game of hungry hippos!
  • Your so fat that when got on the elevater it said only 15 people at a time maximum thank you
  • Your so fat when you go to theme parks you get a group discount!
  • Some people carry ketchup with them, some people carry maple syrup with them. But you, you carry the whole fucking McDonald's!
  • You're so fat that you bleed chocolate milk.
  • At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.
  • You're so fat, you stock up for hibernation.
  • When was the last time you saw your whole body in the mirror?
  • If your IQ was as high as your weight, you'd be a genius.
  • You're so fat, when you do push-ups, your stomach hits the floor and leaves marks.
  • You're so fat that you sweat mayonnaise!
  • You're so fat, when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the HOUSE.