Random Fat Insults

Ready for some funny overweight banter? Comeback with these humorous insults for fat people.

  • You're so fat, when you went to space, there was no space left.
  • You're so fat, when you get bored of eating donuts, you shove two up your ass for the winter.
  • Well, I'll see you in my dreams -- if I eat too much.
  • You're so fat, your blood type is Ragu.
  • Big girls don't cry? Yes they do. They cry because they're fat, can't get a boyfriend and cry because there's no trifle left.
  • You're so fat if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take his word for it!
  • You're so fat, when you step on a weighing scale, it says fail.
  • I wonder how many children are in that stomach.
  • Some people carry ketchup with them, some people carry maple syrup with them. But you, you carry the whole fucking McDonald's!
  • You're so fat that when a person was having sex with you they rolled over twice, they were still on top of you!
  • I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.
  • You're so fat that you bleed chocolate milk.
  • You're so fat, you literally poop logs.
  • Hey! If we killed you, we would stop world hunger!
  • You're so fat, when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the HOUSE.
  • It ain't over till the fat lady sings. I'm sorry to bring your mother into this.
  • Everyone stop insulting him, he has enough on his plate already.
  • You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
  • You're so fat, when you get into row boat it becomes a submarine.
  • I know five fat people, and you're three of them.