Random Good Comebacks

I'm sorry, how small did you say your chode was again?

If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate you, God does too.

If you've got a problem take it up with my ass, because that's the only one that gives a crap!

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

I don't go strip club and tell your Mom how to do her job, so don't tell me how to do mine.

You hear that? That's the sound of your balls not dropping.

Your comebacks are the same just like the size of your dick; small and pedantic.

Hey, that was quite a mouthful, but I guess you're used to that sort of thing.

I would insult you back, but mother nature already has for me.

I can hear you with all that dick in you mouth.

The problem with you is that you lack the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

Oh, interesting. Let me just write that on my list of things that I don't give a shit about.

Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how wrong you are.

Listen, moron. If you're going to try and insult me, at least be grammatically correct. I'm too busy mentally correcting your errors to be offended.

For a man with no cows, you've got an awful lot of bullshit.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.

Oh, I'm with a whore too, and by the way your Mom says hi. :)

Insult: Why are you so fat?
Comeback: Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.

Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.