Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all.
    116
  • I Googled "Who Gives a Shit?"
    My name wasn't in the results.
    680
  • I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
    1.7K
  • You're just like a vacuum cleaner, loud and annoying!
    225
  • If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.
    -68
  • You're as fake as a three dollar bill!
    411
  • Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
    353
  • What goes around, comes around but I hope it hits you twice as fucking hard!
    327
  • The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
    295
  • Woah, who pissed in your fruitloops this morning?
    42
  • Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
    164
  • Insult: You have no dick.
    Comeback: Because you sucked it too hard.
    221
  • Insult: This is boring!
    Comeback: So was your Mom last night.
    185
  • Don't like my sarcasm? Well, I don't like your stupid.
    18
  • I don't go strip club and tell your Mom how to do her job, so don't tell me how to do mine.
    167
  • If bullshit could bounce, you'd be in fucking orbit.
    134
  • Sorry, can't put small objects in my mouth or I'll choke
    563
  • Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
    357
  • If I toss a stick, will you go away?
    258
  • Insult: You suck.
    Comeback: Not for free.
    120