Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • Look! You learned to talk!
  • Nice come back, now wipe that off your chin.
  • You get 10 times more chicks than me? 10 times 0 is 0.
  • If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!
  • I hope you never get a tetanus shot; maybe you'll windup with lockjaw.
  • Did you eat a brain tumor this morning, cause you are just retarded.
  • I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today,
    but on closer inspection it said thick cut.
  • Go suck yourself off, no-one else will.
  • You talk so much shit, I'm starting to smell it on your breath.
  • Insult: Suck my dick!
    Comeback: Why take the job away from your mother?
  • Insult: You suck.
    Comeback: Not for free.
  • Insult: You're a fail.
    Comeback: So was your dad's condom.
  • Insult: Why do you even wear a bra? You don't have anything to put in it.
    Comeback: You wear pants, don't you?
  • Your comebacks are the same just like the size of your dick; small and pedantic.
  • Insult: You're gay.
    Comeback: Well I'm straighter than the pole you dance on.
  • You asked for my number I said.. 1-800 Dream On !!
  • You might as well wear a tampon on your head because if you're gonna act like a pussy you might as well look like one too.
  • I'm not ignoring you. I'm just holding my breath hoping that I pass out.
  • Insult: You suck.
    Comeback: And your Mom swallows, by the way I wish you were the load that she had swallowed.
  • Of course I talk like an idiot, how else could you understand me?