Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.
  • I got 99 problems, but bitch you ain't one.
  • Insult: You're stupid.
    Comback: Just like your Dad when he thought he wouldn't need a condom.
  • I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
  • Insult: Kiss my ass.
    Girl: Which one? Because either way I'd get a mouthful of shit!
  • Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
  • Bully: Turn around and sit your ass down.
    Victim: No you do it. Bully: i already am.
    Victim: No your ass (point to their face) is right there.
  • I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all.
  • Your comeback was so stupid, it didn't even comeback!
  • You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.
  • I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
  • Insult: Suck my dick.
    Comeback: Get one first!
  • Did you leave the stove on? Cause you just got burned!
  • Sorry, can't put small objects in my mouth or I'll choke
  • I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
  • You should keep some lube with you, so it doesn't hurt as bad the next time you FUCK ME OVER!
  • If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.
  • Insult: This is boring!
    Comeback: So was your Mom last night.
  • Of course I talk like an idiot, how else could you understand me?
  • Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle.