Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • I haven't taken a shower. Tomorrow I'll be beautiful. You, however, are stupid and will be stupid tomorrow.
  • Person: I'm straight.
    You: Straight as a circle!
  • If I wanted my comeback I would have licked it of your Mum's tits last night.
  • Insult: You fail.
    Comeback: So did your MOM getting into college.
  • I don't go strip club and tell your Mom how to do her job, so don't tell me how to do mine.
  • You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass
  • I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the Earth revolves around the Sun and not you.
  • I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.
  • Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how wrong you are.
  • There are 2 things I don't that like about you; your face! So shut BOTH of them!
  • I'm not ignoring you. I'm just holding my breath hoping that I pass out.
  • The best part of you ran down your fathers left leg.
  • Stop trying to be a smartass. You're just an ass.
  • Can you eat a banana sideways? Cause you have a big mouth.
  • Since you know it all, you should know when to shut the fuck up.
  • I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
  • Insult: You're stupid.
    Comback: Just like your Dad when he thought he wouldn't need a condom.
  • Insult: You have no dick.
    Comeback: Because you sucked it too hard.
  • Do you mean to mumble or is your mouth just naturally full of shit?
  • I have a head pain from your mom screaming last night.