Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.
    1.1K
  • I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat.
    148
  • The best part of you ran down your fathers left leg.
    -59
  • Insult: FAIL!
    Comeback: Nobody asked for your life story.
    1.2K
  • You remind me of an unflushed toilet, so full of shit.
    255
  • If I wanted my comeback I would have licked it of your Mum's tits last night.
    -71
  • Insult: Fail!
    Comeback: Just like your social life
    305
  • If I wanted shit from you, I'd squeeze your head.
    76
  • I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked for your opinion.
    972
  • If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!
    1K
  • There are 2 things I don't that like about you; your face! So shut BOTH of them!
    8
  • Insult: You have no dick.
    Comeback: Because you sucked it too hard.
    223
  • Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
    2.3K
  • Insult: You're gay.
    Comeback : Bitch, I'm straighter than the pole your mother danced on last night.
    414
  • If I gave a shit, it would be on your face.
    122
  • What goes around, comes around but I hope it hits you twice as fucking hard!
    328
  • With breath like that, you shouldn't say anything at all.
    141
  • Last time I heard that I was laughing so hard, I fell off my dinosaur
    434
  • I would insult you back, but mother nature already has for me.
    131
  • You remind me of a zip loc bag; good for one quality use.
    29