Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all.
  • I got 99 problems, but bitch you ain't one.
  • I'd try being nicer if you try being smarter.
  • I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.
  • You remind me of a zip loc bag; good for one quality use.
  • Did you leave the stove on? Cause you just got burned!
  • By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass.
  • You asked for my number I said.. 1-800 Dream On !!
  • Insult: You're gay.
    Comeback: Well I'm straighter than the pole you dance on.
  • If I wanted my comeback I would have licked it of your Mum's tits last night.
  • And what are YOU? The mascot for this country's mental retardation department?
  • If you have a problem with me, please kindly write it on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up, and put it in your ass.
  • If you have ever been to a zoo, you obviously have not seen the animal you are...
  • I’ll try and hide my enthusiasm. How am I doing?
  • The best part of you ran down your fathers left leg.
  • Insult: Suck my dick!
    Response: Sorry, I don't suck small things.
  • I'd give a fuck, but I already gave it to your mother last night.
  • You're outspoken, but not by anyone I know.
  • Insult: FUCK YOU!
    Comeback: No thanks, I don't want herpes.
  • I poured my heart to you and you reply "oh lol." Bitch, I hope you get hit by a bus so I can be like... "oh lol."