Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • I'm sorry, how small did you say your chode was again?
    33
  • If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!
    189
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate you, God does too.
    -596
  • If you've got a problem take it up with my ass, because that's the only one that gives a crap!
    327
  • What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
    -61
  • I don't go strip club and tell your Mom how to do her job, so don't tell me how to do mine.
    174
  • You hear that? That's the sound of your balls not dropping.
    302
  • Your comebacks are the same just like the size of your dick; small and pedantic.
    88
  • Hey, that was quite a mouthful, but I guess you're used to that sort of thing.
    312
  • I would insult you back, but mother nature already has for me.
    133
  • I can hear you with all that dick in you mouth.
    92
  • The problem with you is that you lack the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
    -475
  • Oh, interesting. Let me just write that on my list of things that I don't give a shit about.
    746
  • Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how wrong you are.
    51
  • Listen, moron. If you're going to try and insult me, at least be grammatically correct. I'm too busy mentally correcting your errors to be offended.
    351
  • For a man with no cows, you've got an awful lot of bullshit.
    154
  • I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you.
    44
  • Oh, I'm with a whore too, and by the way your Mom says hi. :)
    833
  • Insult: Why are you so fat?
    Comeback: Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.
    900
  • Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
    376