Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!
    1K
  • You should keep some lube with you, so it doesn't hurt as bad the next time you FUCK ME OVER!
    -87
  • Look! You learned to talk!
    -287
  • Your comebacks are the same just like the size of your dick; small and pedantic.
    80
  • I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.
    63
  • Insult: You're jealous!
    Comeback: Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't know you.
    891
  • I haven't taken a shower. Tomorrow I'll be beautiful. You, however, are stupid and will be stupid tomorrow.
    142
  • Life is but a game, and let me tell you, you suck at it.
    365
  • You talk so much shit, I'm starting to smell it on your breath.
    512
  • Hey, did you think up that line during your last circle jerk?
    -117
  • Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
    360
  • Insult: You Failed! Comeback: Yeah, so did your mom's abortion. :)
    1.6K
  • You're just mad that your dads pussy is pinker than yours.
    13
  • Insult: You're a piece of shit.
    Comeback: And you're the paper that wipes it.
    365
  • Oh, interesting. Let me just write that on my list of things that I don't give a shit about.
    725
  • The jerk store called, they're running out of YOU!
    -542
  • I think "dildo" is a perfectly acceptable insult. I'd call you a dick, but you're not real enough.
    119
  • Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
    2.3K
  • Person: You are what you eat.
    Comeback: Perhaps that's why you're such a dick.
    407
  • Insult: Bitch!
    Comeback: At least I'm not yours.
    219