Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • Hey, did you think up that line during your last circle jerk?
  • You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.
  • I got 99 problems, but bitch you ain't one.
  • I am straighter than the pole your Mom danced on in front of me last night.
  • I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!
  • Life is but a game, and let me tell you, you suck at it.
  • Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
  • Insult: You're gay.
    Comeback : Bitch, I'm straighter than the pole your mother danced on last night.
  • Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how wrong you are.
  • Your comeback was so stupid, it didn't even comeback!
  • Insult: You fail.
    Comeback: So did your MOM getting into college.
  • Insult: Bitch!
    Comeback: At least I'm not yours.
  • I hope you never get a tetanus shot; maybe you'll windup with lockjaw.
  • If you talked anymore shit, you'd be shaped like a turd.
  • You're so low, you have to climb up a ladder to reach the bottom.
  • Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?
  • Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.
  • Cool story bro, now when's the part when I give a fuck?
  • You get 10 times more chicks than me? 10 times 0 is 0.
  • You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you'll do.