Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • Insult: FAIL!
    Comeback: Nobody asked for your life story.
    1.2K
  • You cut me down I must confess but in your mouth my Dick will rest
    53
  • My testicles just dropped.....WITH A VENGENCE!!!
    -219
  • Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
    -165
  • Insult: YOU SUCK! Comeback: AND YOU SWALLOW!
    1.6K
  • I haven't taken a shower. Tomorrow I'll be beautiful. You, however, are stupid and will be stupid tomorrow.
    142
  • You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.
    134
  • Did someone order a cunt? Because one's just showed up.
    192
  • It's a bird! It's a plane! No... Wait... It's that flying fuck I don't give.
    475
  • I'm not ignoring you. I'm just holding my breath hoping that I pass out.
    128
  • You remind me of an unflushed toilet, so full of shit.
    261
  • Cool story bro, now make me a sandwich.
    -439
  • You're as fake as a three dollar bill!
    408
  • Stop trying to be a smartass. You're just an ass.
    167
  • I don't see any penises in the general vicinity... So I'm wondering why you keep opening your fucking mouth.
    851
  • Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
    224
  • If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth.
    127
  • Maybe if you wait a little longer, a fuck will fall in my hand and I can give it to you.
    490
  • Glad you think I give a fuck but sorry, no such luck.
    298
  • I hope you never get a tetanus shot; maybe you'll windup with lockjaw.
    -37