Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
    551
  • Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door.
    1.1K
  • You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.
    3.1K
  • If you talked anymore shit, you'd be shaped like a turd.
    66
  • I'm being treated like shit, so I must be dealing with an asshole
    182
  • Insult: Bitch!
    Comeback: At least I'm not yours.
    221
  • I can't listen to you right now. I still have a headache from your mom screaming last night.
    145
  • If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!
    1K
  • Insult: You're a fail.
    Comeback: So was your dad's condom.
    5.4K
  • You're the cum your mother should have swallowed.
    355
  • You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass
    476
  • I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw, but all they got was a moving picture.
    -20
  • You sound reasonable.. Time to up the medication.
    122
  • I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
    641
  • Person: Haven't I seen you some place before?
    You: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
    379
  • I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!
    1K
  • Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at the mall - you should get one.
    2.4K
  • I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.
    62
  • You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.
    -104
  • I'm not kissing you even if your mouth is cleaner then the humans
    -132