Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • You remind me of an unflushed toilet, so full of shit.
    265
  • I'm not kissing you even if your mouth is cleaner then the humans
    -134
  • I'm fat because everytime I did your mom, she gave me a cookie.
    285
  • Person 1: What are you looking at?
    Person 2: That's what I'm trying to figure out
    467
  • I don't know which face to talk to, since you have two.
    117
  • If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!
    189
  • Insult: You ruined it.
    Comeback: Your ass ruined where your face was supposed to go.
    96
  • Go and take a LONG walk off a SHORT cliff.
    156
  • Maybe if you wait a little longer, a fuck will fall in my hand and I can give it to you.
    521
  • Listen, moron. If you're going to try and insult me, at least be grammatically correct. I'm too busy mentally correcting your errors to be offended.
    360
  • I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
    1.3K
  • You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!
    3K
  • I would insult you back, but mother nature already has for me.
    133
  • Insult: Where do you think you're going to put that? Comback: Bend over and I'll show you. ;)
    142
  • Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.
    357
  • I'd try being nicer if you try being smarter.
    184
  • Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.
    32
  • Do up your flies, your brain's hanging out.
    -193
  • Hey, unless your name is Google, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.
    808
  • Wow, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?
    73