Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
  • Bully: You're stupid!
    Comeback: So was you Dad when he thought he didn't need a condom.
  • I'm sorry, I don't talk to animals
  • At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.
  • You're just mad that your dads pussy is pinker than yours.
  • You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.
  • You don't believe in being artificial. You want people to hate you for yourself.
  • You're so uptight, if I stuck a piece of coal up your ass, within a week it would be a diamond.
  • I knew pussies had lips, but I didn't know they could talk.
  • Insult: You ruined it.
    Comeback: Your ass ruined where your face was supposed to go.
  • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  • You're not worth it. You can't put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.
  • I would insult you back, but mother nature already has for me.
  • Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how wrong you are.
  • Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news, they found your head!
  • I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all.
  • I'm sorry dear, but in order for you to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.
  • You're the cum your mother should have swallowed.
  • Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    PornHub is down,
    Your mother's Facebook will do.
  • I admire your because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief and a cheat.