Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
    377
  • Insult: You suck.
    Comeback: And your Mom swallows, by the way I wish you were the load that she had swallowed.
    90
  • By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass.
    929
  • If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.
    192
  • I have a head pain from your mom screaming last night.
    -37
  • You're lying like a rug; dirty and on your back.
    94
  • It's a bird! It's a plane! No... Wait... It's that flying fuck I don't give.
    509
  • If I'm ugly, we must be twins.
    484
  • Insult: Where do you think you're going to put that? Comback: Bend over and I'll show you. ;)
    142
  • If someone shoved my head up your ass, I'd live off of the air in your head.
    70
  • I poured my heart to you and you reply "oh lol." Bitch, I hope you get hit by a bus so I can be like... "oh lol."
    683
  • Hey, unless your name is Google, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.
    808
  • You know that thing above your neck? Yeah, you might want to trade it for a face.
    -15
  • I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.
    592
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
    294
  • I'd slap you but shit splatters.
    177
  • There are 2 things I don't that like about you; your face! So shut BOTH of them!
    19
  • You're the cum your mother should have swallowed.
    365
  • My intense desire to unfriend you is outweighed by the enjoyment I feel gawking at the huge trainwreck that is your life.
    -242
  • No wonder you have such a shitty view of the world with how far your head is stuck up your ass.
    346