Random Good Comebacks

In need of a witty comeback? Check out these good comebacks and you'll be ready for any insult that may come your way!

  • I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.
    1.1K
  • If you ran as much as your mouth did, you'd be in good shape
    248
  • At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people -- you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!
    -22
  • Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.
    2K
  • I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat.
    152
  • You talk so much shit, I'm starting to smell it on your breath.
    538
  • If I toss a stick, will you go away?
    303
  • Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.
    977
  • Cool story bro, now when's the part when I give a fuck?
    212
  • Quick, check your face! I just found your nose in my business.
    370
  • I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I'll think so.
    -32
  • If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth.
    129
  • I hope you never get a tetanus shot; maybe you'll windup with lockjaw.
    -38
  • I'm not ignoring you. I'm just holding my breath hoping that I pass out.
    134
  • Insult: Why are you so stupid?
    Comeback: Because I'm related to you!
    133
  • I'd try being nicer if you try being smarter.
    184
  • What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
    -63
  • Insult: You fail!
    Comeback: Your dad's condom failed!
    Comeback: Your mom's abortion failed!
    117
  • Insult: You're gay!
    You: You wish.
    611
  • Insult: You're a fail.
    Comeback: So was your dad's condom.
    5.5K