Random Casual Insults

You: What is the difference between you and an apple?
Them: I don't know
You: The apple keeps the doctor away, but you keep everything away!

You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light.

Were you born an idiot or have you had to work at it?

It won't be the same without you. It will be better.

Common sense is like deodorant; the people that need it the most, never use it.

Deja Poo: The feeling that you've heard this crap before.

I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?

If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

You're such an anal orifice.

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

You're as useless as a ham sandwich at a Barmitzvah.

Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.

It would be nice if we could manage to get on the same level, but I'll never get that low and you'll never get this high.

Wow! That's a lovely shade of ultra-bitch you're wearing today.

I hate you. Maybe not in the "I hope you die" kind of way, rather "I hope you develop an allergy to bacon". And ice cream.

Any friend of yours -- is a friend of yours.

You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.

I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?