Random Casual Insults

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.

If I were a dog and you were a flower I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower.

Nice to see you on your feet. Who sent the derrick?

Twinkle twinkle little snitch,
Mind your own business you nosy bitch.

I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

Were you born an idiot or have you had to work at it?

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.

You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.

Somebody call the zoo! There's been an escape from the simian exhibit.

If you're talking about me behind my back, that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.

You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from you.

Deja Poo: The feeling that you've heard this crap before.

Common sense is like deodorant; the people that need it the most, never use it.

I'd love to stay and chat, but to be honest I'd rather have type 2 diabetes.

You got more issues than National Geographic!

You are so dishonest that I can't even be sure that what you tell me are lies!

Grip your ears firmly, and pull your head out of your ass.

Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.

You are an oxygen thief.