Best Bald Insults

Have a friend who's bald? Ready, aim, fire with our jokes and insults for bald people. Database of baldness insults and comebacks.

  • 1
    You're so bald, that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
    251
  • 2
    You're so bald, you look like a corn dog with eyebrows.
    228
  • 3
    You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
    222
  • 4
    You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
    191
  • 5
    You look like a dildo. If I paint you pink and shove batteries up your ass will you vibrate?
    183
  • 6
    You're so bald, when you take a shower you get brainwashed.
    122
  • 7
    You're so bald, I can see whats on your mind.
    113
  • 8
    You're so bald, when you wear a turtle neck, you look like roll on deodrant!
    99
  • 9
    Do you do that with your hair everyday?
    71
  • 10
    You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
    59
  • 11
    You: First one to the MOON!
    *Touches the Bald guy*
    21
  • 12
    Your so bald, when you wear a turtle neck you look like one!
    -21
  • 13
    You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as 'grandpa.'
    -88
  • 14
    You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has
    elected you president.
    -88
  • 15
    You're so bald, I can see my reflection.
    -110
  • 16
    You're so bald and ugly, the hair on top of your head is getting scared and running away.
    -124