Random Bald Insults

Have a friend who's bald? Ready, aim, fire with our jokes and insults for bald people. Database of baldness insults and comebacks.

  • You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
    201
  • You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
    192
  • You're so bald, when you wear a turtle neck, you look like roll on deodrant!
    88
  • You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as 'grandpa.'
    -79
  • You look like a dildo. If I paint you pink and shove batteries up your ass will you vibrate?
    156
  • You're so bald, I can see my reflection.
    -97
  • You're so bald and ugly, the hair on top of your head is getting scared and running away.
    -109
  • You're so bald, when you take a shower you get brainwashed.
    100
  • You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has
    elected you president.
    -80
  • You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
    57
  • You're so bald, you look like a corn dog with eyebrows.
    201
  • Your so bald, when you wear a turtle neck you look like one!
    -14
  • You: First one to the MOON!
    *Touches the Bald guy*
    13
  • Do you do that with your hair everyday?
    62
  • You're so bald, that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
    237
  • You're so bald, I can see whats on your mind.
    84