Random Bald Insults

Have a friend who's bald? Ready, aim, fire with our jokes and insults for bald people. Database of baldness insults and comebacks.

  • You: First one to the MOON!
    *Touches the Bald guy*
    19
  • You're so bald, when you wear a turtle neck, you look like roll on deodrant!
    96
  • You're so bald and ugly, the hair on top of your head is getting scared and running away.
    -114
  • You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
    213
  • You're so bald, that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
    244
  • You're so bald, I can see my reflection.
    -99
  • Do you do that with your hair everyday?
    71
  • You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has
    elected you president.
    -83
  • You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
    191
  • You're so bald, you look like a corn dog with eyebrows.
    213
  • Your so bald, when you wear a turtle neck you look like one!
    -15
  • You look like a dildo. If I paint you pink and shove batteries up your ass will you vibrate?
    166
  • You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
    57
  • You're so bald, when you take a shower you get brainwashed.
    115
  • You're so bald, I can see whats on your mind.
    96
  • You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as 'grandpa.'
    -85